I hate my body

So my period was due monday, its not here yet and its friday. I have had so many symptoms of being pregnant, but I just tested and it was negative. I really thought I was pregnant, and I'm so annoyed with myself for getting excited. Why did my stupid body do this? It made me lose a baby and now I can't get pregnant, so many women around me are announcing their second pregnancies and everytime I see one I feel sick, I try to be happy and say congratulations but I'm only doing it in the hope God will see that I'm trying to be happy for other people.
I'm sick of people saying "Oh I'll start trying this month and we can have a baby next summer" Yes because thats how bloody easy it is!!!! I feel like this is never going to happen, why is it so easy for other people? Why do I only have 1 tube? Why did the stupid hospital leave me so long so that my tube ruptured? The consultant told me I'll have no problems getting pregnant...but thats not the case.

How am I ever supposed to get pregnant with no period and dodgy cycles?