Update

So now I am on day 24..I think?! Anyway, I think my period is due at the weekend, joy of joys around the same time as what would have been my due date from my ectopic pregnancy. I'm not doing symptom spotting because I just can't keep doing it to myself, and I will not be early testing as 1. I can't take seeing another negative test 2. I have no tests in the house anyway. I am still doing OPKs as I wasn't sure if what I had last week was my surge so I have carried on and today will be my last OPK and I've still not had anything as dark as last week.

I have come to the conclusion that my obsession with Make Up is my way of getting through this. It didn't really start until after my ectopic, and it seems to have become worse recently. I don't mind, I'm not getting into debt for it or anything but it would be nice not to "have to have" the latest products. Really, getting pregnant would help me in a lot of ways - it would make me happier, it would help me move on from my ectopic and it would save me a lot of money.

Anyway.

Could it be...

Could my body actually getting back to normal, nearly 7 months after my surgery? Its month 2 of taking Agnus Castus and this month it seems to be working as i have some of the side affects. Its day 15 now, I have OV pains and the lines on my sticks are nearly positive (no smilie face but it may come tommorow)

Negative

I'm feeling very negative today, I really feel like I will never be pregnant again. Its getting that bad that I want to ask a phsycic (sp) or something if they see anymore children for me but I know thats extreme.

I think its day 8 now and I'm still wondering if I actually want to put any effort into trying this month, normally I am feeling positive by now and ready to try again.

Down

I'm feeling a bit down today..

I think I need a day away from the forums. Have lots of ironing to do and need to paint my nails (yes again for you readers of my other blog)

Onto month 5

My period arrived in the night.

I'm not so disapointed, I am happy that it came when I expected which is good. Now I just need to get past 3rd october (what would have been my due date) and see how I cope. We have both said we will do something to mark the date, except its my little brothers 10th birthday that day and we will be doing something for our wedding anniversary that night. I think its going to be an emotional day all round.

More SS!

Today I developed an aversion to the multisurface wipes we use..

When I was pregnant with Alice, I couldn't stand the smell of a plug in smelly we had and could just always smell it even when it wasn't on. My eyes are so dry! I've not changed anything that I'm using or how long I'm wearing the lenses.

I'm very tired too.

Hurry up weekend

I'm so impatient!! The tears continued until yesterday, today I'm fine. I'm tired a lot though.

Roll on sunday.

Crying

I cried most of my way round Tesco yesterday. There was a reason but I just kept crying, I cried because Col was being fussy about what to have for tea's this week, I cried because he wouldn't pick a pizza, and I cried because I feel like a terrible mother because Alice is such a fussy eater that I can't even bring myself to tell people the things she's eating at the moment (its not macdonalds or chips or anything) because I know its not giving her all the nutrients she needs. Sunday night I cried 3 times, once at X Factor, then at the film we were watching and then a video I watched on You tube about texting whilst driving. Then on saturday night I couldn't stop the tears...I don't know if that was the wine though.