I've decided to give up trying. I can't keep putting myself through this every month, we've just entered month 8 now. I know 8 months isn't a long time but its so hard and I can't do it anymore, even Col is starting to get down about it and I never thought that would happen. I just feel like every day, or every week someone else gets pregnant. I have to look at the tickers every day for their pregnancy or even someone else's and it just upsets me. Its turning me into a person who I don't want to be, I have seen women struggle to get pregnant and how they are towards other pregnant women and I don't want to be like that.
Alice is more than either of us every hoped for, and she is enough for me. I haven't told Col but I'm sure he will understand. Someone told me I was strong yesterday and I'm not I just put on a front because its so tiresome to always be down.
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